My OCD isn’t OCD anymore.

By the time I turned five, I was already exhibiting the textbook symptoms of original formula OCD Classic: excessive handwashing, fear of contamination, counting, checking, etc. My behavior wasn’t recognized as OCD at the time because it wasn’t really something that existed in the consciousness of the general public until many years later. None of the counselors or psychologists I was taken to seemed to … Continue reading My OCD isn’t OCD anymore.

Desensitized

I often wonder, when someone speaks very casually about a deer they shot and gutted, or some farm animal they castrated, or anything of that nature, How can they do that? When I was a kid, I had a pet mouse named Charlie who escaped and started fucking shit up all over the house. My parents were like “screw this” and set traps, which I … Continue reading Desensitized

The summer of 1989

After binge-watching Cobra Kai, I found myself in the mood to watch the original Karate Kid film. I scratched that itch, and wasn’t disappointed. I mean, it’s a classic for a reason. Everyone loves a good underdog story. The film more than holds up. Anyway, being a nostalgic person, I found myself taking a stroll down movie memory lane, which led me to the summer … Continue reading The summer of 1989

I must’ve really hated that woman…

In the middle of my third grade year, in 1986, my teacher died. We got out of school to attend the funeral, kids were crying, yada yada yada. When I saw my young peers beside themselves with grief over this dead woman, I vividly remember feeling both perplexed and disgusted. I hated that woman, and I was glad she was dead. I enjoyed the funeral. … Continue reading I must’ve really hated that woman…

Putting away childish things

I went over to my parents’ house last week in search of writing, school papers, drawings, pics and whatever other childhood relics I could find that had the potential to give me a glimpse into my mental processes at the time. I’m currently in the planning stages of writing a book about what it’s like to have OCD. What’s it’s really like, from my perspective. … Continue reading Putting away childish things