Used to…

Everything is “used to” for me now. Someone talks about say, swimming. I’m all “Oh, I used to love to swim.” I talk about how I “used to” love finding new music at used cd and record stores “back in the day.” I used to go here, I used to go there…I used to have friends. All of my stories are about friends I don’t … Continue reading Used to…

I’m always gonna be f***ed in the head.

I’m 41, and I’ve been fucked in the head for as long as I can remember. At this point, I have no delusions that shit is ever going to be “okay.” I am the product of a fourteen-year-old foster child getting pregnant by another foster child of undetermined(by me, anyway)age. I’d already known this by the time I tracked down my biological mother and several … Continue reading I’m always gonna be f***ed in the head.

Who was this? Part 2

I have no idea who this was, and neither do you. I doubt anyone still living could tell you and neither could dead people who might know because they’re dead and they can’t talk. This kid lived a life. He probably went on to fight in a war and raise kids and spoil their kids. Someone’s dad, someone’s husband, someone’s grandpa… And now no one … Continue reading Who was this? Part 2

Putting away childish things

I went over to my parents’ house last week in search of writing, school papers, drawings, pics and whatever other childhood relics I could find that had the potential to give me a glimpse into my mental processes at the time. I’m currently in the planning stages of writing a book about what it’s like to have OCD. What’s it’s really like, from my perspective. … Continue reading Putting away childish things