As a kid, I was slapped, shoved, kicked on occasion, and called names like “retard” and “stupid little son of a bitch.” I had fingernails dug into the back of my neck until I bled by an aunt. I had a “good” friend of the family who lived with us for a time hold a knife to my throat and threaten to kill me. I … Continue reading My disease
Eccentric tech mogul and cult leader Richard Kryuss has developed a system of storing and transmitting data organically, connected by trees containing within their DNA the entirety of recorded human knowledge. Could his Terrestrially Regenerative Enhanced Extranet, or T.R.E.E., be a boon to mankind, or will it spell doom for the human race? Spanning over 200,000 years of post-Earth human history, Effugium repeatedly defies the … Continue reading EFFUGIUM now available for purchase
Once upon a midday dreary, amongst the graves, so still and eerie, I suddenly become acutely aware that I wasn’t alone. The Raven perched atop a crumbling, moss-covered headstone some twenty feet away from me wasn’t just looking in my direction, he was looking at me. Just why I held my arm aloft, inviting him to spread his wings, take to the air and alight … Continue reading Edgar and I
I guess I thought “longhand” meant print or cursive. Didn’t want to waste precious battery life googling it…I suppose I should’ve. Anyway, these are my written thoughts. Continue reading Powerless
Everything is “used to” for me now. Someone talks about say, swimming. I’m all “Oh, I used to love to swim.” I talk about how I “used to” love finding new music at used cd and record stores “back in the day.” I used to go here, I used to go there…I used to have friends. All of my stories are about friends I don’t … Continue reading Used to…
By the time I turned five, I was already exhibiting the textbook symptoms of original formula OCD Classic: excessive handwashing, fear of contamination, counting, checking, etc. My behavior wasn’t recognized as OCD at the time because it wasn’t really something that existed in the consciousness of the general public until many years later. None of the counselors or psychologists I was taken to seemed to … Continue reading My OCD isn’t OCD anymore.
On Saturdays, I wake up depressed. I don’t know why, but I do. It just is. Why is that? I’m not sure, but I wake up to the saddest lines from the saddest songs looping over and over again in my head until I look them up on YouTube, listen to them, and further depress myself. That’s when the “I’ve wasted my life” stuff begins. … Continue reading Something about Saturdays…
I’m 41, and I’ve been fucked in the head for as long as I can remember. At this point, I have no delusions that shit is ever going to be “okay.” I am the product of a fourteen-year-old foster child getting pregnant by another foster child of undetermined(by me, anyway)age. I’d already known this by the time I tracked down my biological mother and several … Continue reading I’m always gonna be f***ed in the head.
Got out of bed after the sleepless night described in my last post and immediately began checking under the sink for leaks, which took about an hour and involved me clanging lots of stuff around and repeatedly telling the dogs to get out of my way. Seems like any time several major things are going on, I lose my grip and let the disorder control … Continue reading OCD is outta CONTROL today..
I was so exhausted when I went to bed last night. I’d spent the evening pretending to watch TV with my wife when I was actually googling symptoms of various serious medical conditions my mind has convinced me that I have. Head feels like it’s in a vice grip due to an emerging sinus infection. My gut is inflamed, belly bloated and gassy from a … Continue reading 4:36 AM